FRIES BEFORE GUYS

May 10, 2017

Are you dating in high school? That’s okay. It doesn’t HAVE to be a regret that you have when you look back years from now. It doesn't have to be, but it can be. It depends on you, who you choose to date, and how much you let that relationship consume your life. Here is some advice passed on from girls who did AND who didn't, date in high school. I hope you will keep these in  in mind no matter what side you find yourself on. 

 

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A guide to how to keep your friends if you decide to (or your parents let you) date in High School. 

 

ONE: Don’t date. <  Seriously. This is the most foolproof way to keep your friendships strong and ensure that you’re not left post grad friendless AND boyfriend-less. When you get to UNI and need to call someone at 3am, it's your best friend that's going to pick up the phone, not your high school ex.  (Stats show many of you will ignore this first tip, so we'll keep going)

 

TWO: Don’t change your personality. I once pretended that I LOVED heavy metal to impress my grade 9 boyfriend. When he asked what my favourite song by Metallica was, I did a quick google search and picked a song from an older album so he wouldn’t catch on. Then I actually had to listen to heavy metal, talk about heavy metal, and found myself even somewhat “liking” heavy metal. I must not have liked it that much though, because when we broke up and I started dating someone else, he didn’t like heavy metal; all of a sudden neither did I. I'm sure my friends knew the whole time. 

 

THREE: Don’t pick a jerk. Your friends won’t want to see you hurt and it gets messy if they know you don't see it and ignore their advice. FREE TIP? Choose the nice guy. *Spoiler alert* they usually end up being WAY more successful, kind, (and often times more attractive) than the guy everyone is currently freaking out over.  

 

FOUR: Keep your commitments. Be someone they can trust. Did you say you were going to hangout with them this weekend? Then don’t bail when your boy texts you saying he wants to hang out with you. Snapchat never lies. They'll know where you are. 

 

FIVE: Hang out all together. Invite other guy friends. Everyone you care about in the same place? Win win. This will also help make sure you don’t miss out on the memories your friends are making, which is HUGE. 

 

SIX: Keep boyfriend drama (if there is any) separate from school. That way 1) you focus on the things that will affect your future (like your grades and relationships with teachers), and 2) your friends will know they’re getting to hangout with their friend, rather than playing “mediator” between you and your boyfriend and whatever fight you guys are having that day. 

 

SEVEN: Move slowly. Don’t throw your entire heart into your high school relationship. Stat's show only 2% of marriages are made up of 'High School sweethearts'. The faster you go (both emotionally and physically), the more you will feel like you’ve lost if that relationship doesn’t work out. Don't lose perspective, for example, you may not see things your friends see, like how much you’re changing, or how much your conversation revolves around your relationships. Tunnel vision is easy to get in high school relationships. All you see is your relationship and not how it might be impacting everything and everyone else around you. 

 

EIGHT: Ignore the thought “If I don’t date in high school I will never know what kind of guy to marry.” HUGE myth. You can be friends with guys and realize what you like in a man and what you don’t! Plus, there is TONS of time for dating in the future! Don't cave to pressure. 

 

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